Rocketman: Inside Elton Johns Sad, Toxic Relationship With His Mother

According to Rocketman, Elton Johns mother, Sheila, was not a warm and fuzzy British matriarch who offered round-the-clock support. In fact, Sheila is scripted as being so cruel to her only son that when Bryce Dallas Howard, who was cast to play the part, first read Lee Halls screenplay, the actress was taken aback.

“When I first read the script, I was kind of shocked,” Howard told Vanity Fair—surprised by Sheilas coldness and the cutting comments she made to her sensitive young son, which shaped the musicians emotions and anxieties into adulthood. “I questioned [the portrayal]. Like, Hmm, this feels like vilification, and I dont know if this is accurate.” So the actress did her own investigative work about the woman she would be playing—seeking out people who knew Sheila and were not affiliated with the Dexter Fletcher–directed film. In the end, they corroborated the scripts depiction: “In honestly every single conversation, it was confirmed to me that, yeah—this was a very dysfunctional relationship, and she was a broken woman.”

Sheila was unmarried when she became pregnant with Elton, explained Howard. “Elton was born out of wedlock, which was extremely rare for the time…in Pinner, England—right after World War II. The city had gone through so much, and there was still rationing in place, so it was certainly not an easy time. She married Elton's father when Elton was six years old, and they just absolutely hated each other”—a point confirmed by Elton John himself. “They gave every impression of hating each other,” the singer wrote to The Guardian this year. “My dad was strict and remote and had a terrible temper; my mum was argumentative and prone to dark moods. When they were together, all I can remember are icy silences or screaming rows. The rows were usually about me, how I was being brought up.”

And when Sheila discovered that her son was incredibly gifted—able to tap out tunes on the piano as he heard them at just five years old—life did not get any easier. “Elton was a child prodigy, and that was shocking and complex because she did feel that her life was not her own,” said Howard. “A lot of resentment came from that. But it definitely crossed over—the cruelty and the kind of mean persona and, you know, just not showing love, ever. It makes me wonder if she wasnt well, possibly. It had shifted into a place that was toxic and dangerous.”

Howard was so startled by the behavior she heard about that she reached out to a friend of hers who is a psychiatrist.

“I talked to him about her, because I wondered if there was maybe a personality disorder. Unhappiness is one thing. So is resentfulness. But it was strategic cruelty. She would kind of vacillate between indifference and strategic cruelty, and thats just—to me, as a parent—I couldnt quite wrap my mind around that without thinking it was a result of some kind of psychosis.”

Stuart Epps, a British record producer who worked with John in the 70s, confirmed to the Daily Mail that mother and son, who were 22 years apart in age, had an unusual relationship—acting “more like brother and sister in a way. And [they] fought like that, too.” Of Sheila, he added, “She was pretty outrageous, which is where Elton gets all of that from.” John himself confirmed that his relationship with his mother was a roller coaster: “I was closer to Mum than Dad, but there were long periods when we didnt speak,” he told The Guardian. “And my childhood is one thing Im still sensitive about.”

“There were ups and downs, because she was very charismatic and witty—very funny and cutting,” said Howard. “She would say the things that people are thinking but not saying. Thats a little delicious, up to a point.” Howard thinks that Johns wicked sense of humor is inherited from Sheila. “But hes a very, very, sensitive, emotional person,” Howard added. “And it didnt seem that thats how Sheila was herself.”

Despite Sheilas coldness, Elton supported his mother financially once he found success—even hiring her to watch over his Virginia Water mansion while he was on tour. According to the Daily Mail, “he would call her every Saturday so that she could fill him in on the football results.” But John, as shown in Rocketman, was also prone to mood swings and temper tantrums. “I went through all that with him,” Sheila later confirmed. Epps even recalled how Elton fired his own mother at one point: “You know Elton, he fires everyone,” Epps explained. “He said to her: You are fired as my mother! He was in such a temper. It must have been 40 years ago.”

There were other lows in their relationship as well—the most widely reported being an eight-year estrangement that Sheila said was caused by Eltons husband, David Furnish. While John offered minimal public commentary about his mother out of respect for her privacy, Sheila took a different approach with the press. In 2015, seven years into her estrangement from her son, Sheila hired an Elton John impersonator for her 90th birthday—and then gave a blistering interview to the Daily Mail. Speaking about Elton, Sheila said, “He had always been very kind to me until he got with David Furnish.” She blamed Furnish for driving a wedge between John and his longtime personal assistant Bob Halley. “Its pretty obvious if anyone thinks about it. Elton didnt even fall out with Bob [Halley] really. The relationship ended abruptly,” Sheila said. “Everybody was got rid of all of a sudden. Thats what happened, and everybody has gone—me included. . . .and we know who is behind that!”

As if those remarks were not hurtful enough, Sheila remained friends with Johns ex John Reid, and described Halley as “like a son to me. He has always been marvelous to me and he lives nearby and keeps an eye on me. […] [Elton] told me I thought more of Bob Halley than I did of my own son. And to that I said to him, And you think more of that fucking thing you married, than your own mother. Those were the last words I spoke to him.”

When pressed to comment on his mother during this period, John simply said, “I dont hate her, but I dont want her in my life.”

But Sheila had no qualms about getting catty with press—making digs about her sons ability to be loved that echo sentiments the character of Sheila shares in Rocketman. “At the beginning of [Elton and Davids] friendship I was glad he had found someone to settle with after so much disruption with all the various boyfriends coming and going,” Sheila said. “They would get what they wanted out of him, theyd get their houses and whatever they wanted and then they wouldnt love him any more. And then I would be dragged into it…. We had all this to put up with. But you are there for him because he's your son.”

She also accused Furnish of banning her from family photos taken at the couples 2005 civil partnership ceremony because she did not wear a hat as instructed. (“That didnt go down well with Furnish because he wanted it to be the Wedding of the Year,” Sheila snarked.) She also claimed that John refused to visit his stepfather, Fred Farebrother, in the hospital in 2007 before he died. A fiery woman, even at 90, Sheila told press, “Id like to give Furnish a punch right on the bloody earhole! If I had the chance, I'd do it…. Ive had all the upset and crying and the worrying and the nastiness.”

After eight years of estrangement, John told The DaRead More – Source