The Deadly Slow Cooker on This Is Us Has Crock-Pot in a Slow-Simmering Panic
Crock-Pot never asked for this. All Crock-Pot wanted to do was cook our food, slowly, while we were ..
Crock-Pot never asked for this. All Crock-Pot wanted to do was cook our food, slowly, while we were away. Crock-Pot was only trying to make our lives a little easier. But now . . . now, despite its wholesome intentions, Crock-Pot has found itself in the middle of a scandal.
On Tuesday, This Is Us finally revealed the cause of Jack Pearson’s long-teased demise. Spoiler alert: a faulty slow cooker set the house on fire. Naturally, the response to this twist on social media has been swift and hyperbolic. People have begun casting suspicious glances at their own Crock-Pots, which suddenly look a little more . . . insidious. Are they planning something, we wonder?
This Is Us creator Dan Fogelman tried to quell viewers’ paranoia on Twitter, writing after the episode aired that he wanted to take a moment to remind us that the machine responsible for murdering the World’s Greatest Dad “was a 20 year old fictional crockpot with an already funky switch? Let’s not just lump all those lovely hardworking crockpots together.” Alas, it seems his words were not enough; on Wednesday, Crock-Pot was prompted to release an official statement in which it promised, seriously, that your Crock-Pot won’t kill you.
“Crock-Pot understands the concerns brought up by last night’s episode of This Is Us, and we, too, are heartbroken by the latest development in Jack’s story line,” the lengthy and deathly, deathly earnest statement begins. “However, it is important that our consumers understand and have confidence that all Crock-Pot slow cookers exceed all internal testing protocols and all applicable industry safety standards and regulations as verified by independent third-party testing labs. For nearly 50 years, with over 100 million Crock-Pots sold, we have never received any consumer complaints similar to the fictional events portrayed in last night’s episode. In fact, the safety and design of our product renders this type of event nearly impossible.
“In addition, and most relevant to the concerns consumers are having after watching the recent This Is Us episode, our Crock-Pot slow cookers are low current, low wattage (typically no more than 200 or 300 watts) appliances with self-regulating, heating elements. The product is designed to cook foods over a longer period of time at low temperatures and the switches connect to only one side of the power line voltage, so there is never a high voltage applied directly across our switches. The switches within our slow cookers are subjected to additional internal testing, which includes a Rotary Knob Endurance test, Rotary Knob Force Test and Flame Burning Test, and constructed of self-extinguishing, flame resistant material.
“Our hope is that the team at NBC’s This Is Us will help us spread factual information regarding our product’s safety. While we know their primary mission is to entertain—something they have continued to excel in—we also feel they have a responsibility to inform. Just like many fans, we will be watching next week’s episode to see how Jack’s story progresses and, regardless of the outcome, we want consumers first and foremost to know they are safe when using their Crock-Pot.”
Will next week’s post-Super Bowl episode include a brief primer on fire safety and the rigorous standards to which Crock-Pots are held? Probably not—but then again, Sterling K. Browncan turn just about any material into Emmy bait, so perhaps he’d be up to the challenge. Barring that, we’re guessing the episode will keep its focus on the exact circumstances surrounding Jack’s death—with a coda, perhaps, about how the Pearson family never, ever ate chili again.
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Laura BradleyLaura Bradley is a Hollywood writer for VanityFair.com. She was formerly an editorial assistant at Slate and lives in Brooklyn.
