That Rod Rosenstein Mess Reminds Seth Meyers of Classic Seinfeld Episode

The week got off to a manic start Monday, thanks to conflicting reports about the job status of Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. On Friday, The New York Times reported that Rosenstein had suggested secretly recording Donald Trump in 2017. (Its unclear whether he was serious, or making that remark in jest.) On Monday, Rosenstein met with White House Chief of Staff John Kelly—leading to a flurry of confused cable-news reports as various networks tried to determine whether Rosenstein had just resigned, been fired, or if he was actually holding onto his job. The speculation reached a fever pitch as anchors rolled nonstop footage of a van parked in a rainy White House driveway.

Naturally, late night weighed in Monday night—and Seth Meyers came prepared with a way to prevent this from happening in the future.

“Were on the brink of a constitutional crisis because nobody could tell if Rod Rosenstein was joking or not,” the Late Night host said during his “Closer Look” segment. “Can I just make a suggestion to all civil servants in our justice system? Dont make jokes. Jokes are broken now.”

Regarding the conflicting reports, which wound up amounting to nothing—so far, at least—Meyers suggested a perpetual chyron for CNN: “Something Is Happening (Or Is It?)”

And as for Rosenstein himself? “This White House is like that episode of Seinfeld where George quits and then tries to go back to work—except that everyone is George Costanza,” Meyers said, pausing before he added, “Theres too many Georges, Jerry!”

On The Late Show, meanwhile, Stephen Colbert congratulated the media for one milestone accomplishment: todays coverage, he said, “was the first-ever cable-news car chase of a parked car.”

“Nobody knew what was going on,” Colbert added. “It turns out nothing was actually happening—but that did not stop them from reporting on it.”

Pretty much every comedian in late night reveled in the absurdity of one clip in particular, in which CNN anchors discussed their own confusion. “Im confused why theres so much confusion,” anchor Kate Bolduan told guest and political analyst Mark Preston. His reply? “And I wish I could help with your confusion, but I, too, am confused with your confusion, as those who are watching right now are so confused.”

That clip, Colbert said, does at least illuminate one thing: what the “C” in “CNN” stands for. And as Trevor Noah put it on The Daily Show, “If I wanted to hear people guess whats going on, I would just spend a day at the barbershop.”

Get Vanity Fairs HWD NewsletterSign up for essential industry and award news from Hollywood.Laura BradleyLaura Bradley is a Hollywood writer for VanityFair.com.