No One Should Host the Golden Globes
After an unusual delay—and speculation that nobody actually wanted to do the job—the Oscars finally ..
After an unusual delay—and speculation that nobody actually wanted to do the job—the Oscars finally announced Tuesday that Kevin Hart will host the 2019 ceremony. Hart described it as “the opportunity of a lifetime,” in an Instagram post confirming the news. While the Academys news spared us weeks of Twitter parlor games, theres still another major awards ceremony coming much sooner that is, for now, host-less. No emcee has yet been announced for the 2019 Golden Globe Awards, which will take place January 6—a full month and a half before the Oscars!
Granted, this years nominees will be announced on Thursday—and its entirely possible a host will be named then as well. That person will likely have their own Instagram post proclaiming how honored they are to be chosen, with a tongue-in-cheek joke about wrangling the famously boozy ceremony. It is probably too late to talk them out of the gig, or convince the Hollywood Foreign Press to make another choice. But just in case, heres a proposition: no one should host the Golden Globes. Not this year, or any year.
Going host-less, in fact, would be far from unprecedented for this particular telecast. The Golden Globes operated just fine without a host for more than 50 years, until handing the ceremony over to John Larroquette (then starring on NBCs The John Larroquette Show) and Janine Turner (a multiple Globe nominee for her role on Northern Exposure) in 1995. Their opening monologue included a moment of applause for the members of the Hollywood Foreign Press, a “life is like a box of chocolates” joke aimed at Tom Hanks, and speculation about what Junior would have been like had Arnold Schwarzenegger performed a circumcision.
No one hosted again until 2009, when Ricky Gervais was tapped for duty and told the press he had been given “free rein.” That resulted in his three-year run as host, which bolstered the Globess reputation as free-for-all where anyone could be a target of a joke—but also inspired Robert Downey Jr. to criticize Gervais in the middle of the 2011 show. “Aside from the fact that its been hugely mean-spirited with mildly sinister undertones,” he said, “Id say the vibe of the show is pretty good so far.”
After Gervais came Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and their three-year run, which will probably long be regarded as the golden age of Golden Globes hosts. Gervaiss return in 2016 only proved how well theyd performed—and though Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers did capable jobs in their own turns onstage, neither were the standouts of their nights. The 2017 Globes were not “the Jimmy Fallon Globes,” but the year Meryl Streep attacked Donald Trump onstage. The 2018 Globes were not, as Meyers would be the first to admit, about him, but the roomful of women wearing black to protest gender inequality.
And thats as it should be. As one of the most frivolous televised events of awards season—and certainly the most frivolous show that has the best stars attendance—the Golden Globes dont need the guiding hand of a host to lighten things up, or orchestrate the bit that gets everyone talking the next day. The Globes have that unpredictability baked into their very DNA, from Christine Lahti missing her category because she was in the bathroom to Timothée Chalamet gazing in awe at Tonya Harding. Everyone is sitting way too close together; theres a ton of champagne; and you never know when Leonardo DiCaprio might side-eye Lady Gaga. If all else fails, there are always the shows free-wheeling presenters, who usually land the best jokes of the night anyway:
None of this, to be clear, necessarily applies to the Oscars as well. Sure, the Academy could achieve their eternal goal of shortening the show by ditching the hosts opening monologue—but its also convenient to have a single person to blame when the ratings dip each year. Plus, having an Oscar host is a tradition that dates back to Douglas Fairbanks; theres no need to throw that out, so long as movie stars like Kevin Hart are still up for taking the job. (Someone needs to come onstage to joke about why you really should pay attention to the sound-mixing winners.)
A Golden Globes host, though? Thats a recent invention that, I promise, no one will miss after a year of absence. Until Tina and Amy agree to come back as hosts for life, let the Golden Globes operate on their own. The champagne will keep flowing, the gaffes will continue, and everyone will get to the after-party a little bit sooner.
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